[Wyewood] Contest at The Feast of Saint Bubba

[Marguerite fitzWilliam via Wyewood]

Contest at the Feast of Saint Bubba:
Your Sergeantry is sponsoring a storytelling contest at the Feast of Saint Bubba.
The rules are simple:1) No documentation required2) Must feature Their Excellencies (either one or both)3) Must contain at least a kernel of truth - no complete fabrications.
Things to know/remember:
There will be children present: euphemisms and double entendres are your friends 
Entries will be judged purely on their entertainment value. Can you make Their Excellencies Cry/Laugh/Blush?
There are prizes involved.
Marguerite fitz William, JdL 
 Courtier to His Excellency, Robert of Wyewood
 Veneur and Swan

Motto: Et Hoc Quoque Transibit
Or, a natural panther statant contourny sable, 
on a chief engrailed vert three plates